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UNDERSTANDING CHILDREN’S BEHAVIOUR: JEALOUSY (SIBLING RIVALRY)


The most important thing for parents to remember is that jealousy is very painful, and that pain can have bad effects. Of course, you cannot prevent it entirely, and you certainly should not make children conceal it. But you can help your children to overcome it.

The first child is going to have to adjust to sharing the limelight. Make it as easy for him as you can, while respecting the rights of the second child. For example, it will not hurt the new baby if you refrain from talking about him constantly in front of his older brother or sister, and it certainly will not hurt him to show you love them both.

Let your children know that they are not alike and that you would not want them to be, because you love them just as they are. (This, incidentally, holds true for twins, too! I always advise parents of twins not to dress them alike.)

Love locked up in parents cannot do the child much good. Both fathers and mothers should show their love. As a doctor, I prescribe plenty of praise, encouragement, and affection. Also, set aside a few minutes or more every day that belong entirely to your child, not to duties and discipline.

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