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THE SEXUAL HEALTH EXAM: CAN YOU BE INVOLVED IN A MUTUALLY PLEASING AND FULFILLING SEXUAL EXPERIENCE? THE HERO


The Hero: Heroes use their disease as a flag of battle. They become so involved in their war against illness that they forget or neglect the tenderness of intimacy. “No way I’ll give into this,” reported the wife with lupus. “I’ll read every minute about it, I’ll exercise, I ’11 see every expert in this world or any other.” Her husband could not understand this total involvement in the battle against the disease. “I know we have to fight this thing, but what about the rest of life? Can’t we love and laugh too, love and laugh as much as we fight and struggle?”

“Maybe you can, but I’m the one who will prove them wrong. I can handle this alone if I have to,” was the wife’s response. “I haven’t got time to play around. Every minute I waste is a minute I give to the disease. I ’11 feel like making love after I feel like I take care of this first.” She failed to understand that “taking care” of this disease depended in part on taking care of her marriage and sexuality at the same time. Heroes find themselves eventually alone, even in victory over the disease. They become victorious warriors with no one to share the victory.

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